Question: Why did the vampire consider himself a good artist?
Answer: Because he likes to draw blood.
Don’t worry, I’ll show myself out.
Oh, wait, this is my blog and I can write whatever I want, including terrible vampire puns. #SorryNotSorry xD
Well, we’ve somehow rolled around to October again, which means an entire month of blog posts that are exclusively Halloween/horror-related. I’d like to be able to promise you that the Universal classics will get some coverage this year, but as you’re already aware, my heart belongs to Hammer, so… no promises.
You’d never know it, but you’re currently reading the words of a ghoul who, as a child, used the excuse “Halloween is against my religion” in order to get a day off of school almost every year.
Now, it wasn’t true, of course! And honestly, I think the school knew it was baloney. But if given the choice to go to a party or spend the day at home, I will choose the latter 110 times out of 100. I was like that at 5, I’m still like that at 31. I guess some things will never change.
I think the last time I went trick-or-treating was at age 4. And the last time I put on a costume was for the school Halloween party in grade 2. I was a princess. My mom and dad made my costume, and I loved it because I got to wear glitter on my face. But… I didn’t win Best Costume. And I’ve never liked candy or being around other people, so at 7 years old, I had a eureka moment: “Why should I go to school on a day when we’re not doing any school work?”
When October rolled around during my high school years, my dad would let me play hooky (I know, I had wonderful parents) in order to stay home and catch my favourite horror flicks on TV. I’m not old, but I still predate high speed internet and the wonders of streaming and on-demand movies! Growing up, if you wanted to see a particular show or film, sometimes it meant staying up till 4 a.m. to do so. That’s actually how I saw “House of Dark Shadows” for the first time back in 2003.
Or it meant “being sick” and taking the day off school when AMC was playing films like “The Lost Boys” and “Scars of Dracula” back-to-back on a Wednesday afternoon.
Ah, good times.
Now, just because I didn’t come to school and participate on Halloween doesn’t mean that I didn’t do Halloween-y things leading up to the day.
So that no one thinks I’m just a big ol’ stick in the mud, I’ll share one of my favourite public school memories with you.
It was Grade 7 or 8, and my best friend Krystal and I were putting up Halloween decorations around the school. At one point, we found ourselves in the open alcove of the nurse’s station, carving a jack-o-lantern. Mrs. Thompson (she had been our second grade teacher) was walking by and stopped to see what we were doing. Seeing that the carving tools were quite sharp, she advised extreme caution and was visibly shaken at the prospect of one of us getting cut or stabbed.
A little while later, Mme. Moreau (who had set us up with the pumpkin) came to check on our progress. She was our French teacher and also the acting nurse.
We mentioned Mrs. Thompson’s visit and warning, which prompted something I never expected from our sweet, quiet and pretty little unassuming French teacher — she suggested we play a prank on Mrs. Thompson and pretend that Krystal had gashed open her hand.
I still can’t believe we did it, but we took some gauze and wrapped up Krystal’s hand like a mummy, and I “bloodied” it up with a red magic marker. Then we went back to work on our pumpkin, choking back giggles of anticipation.
It took poor Mrs. Thompson a few seconds when she came back down the hall. I don’t know how the two of us kept a straight face while we casually and mock-sheepishly let Krystal’s bandaged and bloodied hand come into view.
There was an audible “GASP!” followed by a dramatic hands-to-the-mouth “OH!”, and the pure horror that drained all the colour from poor Mrs. Thompson’s face was worth every darn second of my life up to that point.
She bought it. Oh, how she bought it! She bought it so well that we had to unwrap Krystal’s hand to fully convince her that it was just a joke and we were both fine.
We cried laughing while that poor woman chastised us for playing such an awful trick on her. This was a long time ago, and some of the details after that are hazy, but I think we may have thrown Mme. Moreau under the bus, not wanting to take the ‘credit’ ourselves for giving Mrs. Thompson a heart attack.
Poor Mrs. Thompson. I’m so, so sorry. Kinda. xD
So I hope you’ll all enjoy 2017’s hair-raising Halloween offerings here on Seeker of Truth. I even spookified my Twitter page with a Ladies of Horror header image, blood-red theme colour, and a vampy new profile pic. Because why the heck not?
Fangs for the mummeries, childhood Halloweens.
Until next time, unpleasant dreams . . .
“Let’s let our friend here rest in peace…while he can.”
The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)
Aw, why not. Here’s a bonus pic for you… this is Mrs. Thompson and me in 1993… yes, she’s that Mrs. Thompson. I ♥ her. ;)